Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Ken's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, September 10th, 2008
10:10 pm	Epiphany Wow. I mean seriously, wow. The past week or so has really messed me up. I'm better than this. I'm not going to let it happen again. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 9th, 2008
2:17 pm	Working World, Pt. 2 So it's been a while since my last update, and I don't have time to write about everything that's happened, so someone hold me accountable at some point for this: -Gabe's Bachelor Party -Europe Trip -Seattle Trip I've started work now (and for the rest of my life). It's week 2, and it's much harder than it was during the summer when I was an intern. I guess during then, it's a 10 week sprint and then you get to be a student again. Now, it's sort of a marathon (at break-neck speed at times) except you're not sure where the end is. Today has slowed down a bit, fortunately. I could use more of these days. One side-effect of this job is the lack of planning. It's always hard to make plans when someone asks you at 4 or 5pm for something that'll take you 4-8 hours to do. I mean, it's not like I didn't know this was going to happen, but I suppose I was in a much different situation last summer than I did now, and have a little different perspective on things. Relationship-wise, I think this is almost as difficult as long distance. Because of the lack of foresight, you can't make dates or plan to hang out with the significant other. The other night I was supposed to hang out with Karen but got hung up at work. She ended up falling asleep at my place as I came back at 11pm. It kills me that my options are either 1) don't plan to see her at all or 2) make her wait for me. #2 is tremendously unfair to her, so there really is only one option, which basically relegates us to being a weekend couple. During our long distance phase, at least we got to see each other for a whole weekend. Now, even our weekends are abbreviated. I know, I should stop bitching and it's my own damn fault for taking this job. Aside from the hours though, it's not a bad job and the economy is brutal. But this whole situation frustrates me to no end. And there doesn't seem to be any solution, at least not for the time being. I hate being helpless. Current Mood: cranky (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 27th, 2008
12:16 pm	Crap I don't remember parts of my drive home last night. It's been a long time... (Comment on this)
Monday, May 19th, 2008
12:18 pm	Done! So the last 2 years (almost exactly) has come and gone. It's been tiring and fun, but at the same time, I think I'm ready to move on. I think the 20 units that I took in the last semester helped me get in the right mindset and not reminisce too much. To celebrate, Karen and I went to San Diego for the weekend. Quite unfortunately for us, we didn't bring a camera, so here's a summary of what we did. -Stopped by the Rainbow Sandal outlet and got sandals. -Stopped by La Jolla to check out the cove and see some sea lions. -On our way to Mission Beach, got some Belgian fries with horseradish mayo dipping sauce. -At Mission Beach, went kayaking and walked a bit along the boardwalk. Didn't get to ride the coaster or check out the Wave House. -Went to Phil's and got some delicious BBQ. The line was insanely long. -Got some California burritos in downtown. -Walked around and shopped for a bit. Karen had a ton of hotel points so we stayed for free on the "exclusive" floor that required card key access at the Hyatt in downtown. We were exhausted after the first day and didn't get to explore the night life. I think we'll be back for some more exciting adventures. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 29th, 2008
9:38 am	So it begins... (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 19th, 2008
10:24 pm	P.S. It's sort of sad, but I almost can't wait for this weekend to be over... (Comment on this)
9:17 pm	Costco I'm officially on spring break, and am on trip 1 of 2 to Tahoe for this spring break alone. The lobby of the hotel has free internet, so I'm currently sitting on a couch here typing away. Last weekend, Karen and I went to Costco (the first time for either of us in a LONG time). I forgot how much I missed Costco. I used to hang out there, in all of its warehouse glory. Well, not really hang out, but my Costco trips were always a highlight of a weekend, not a chore. I think the last time I went to Costco was shortly before I moved to LA. Kent and I biked from Berkeley to the Richmond Costco, and ate Polish Sausages there. Karen and I still don't have cards, but we used her mom's card to sneak into the food area and had Polish Sausages (and a twisty churro). I tried to impress sauerkraut on her, but she didn't like it too much. Afterwards, we took a leisurely stroll through the "aisles" of Costco. It's sort of a weird phenomenon. Whenever I'm grocery shopping, or in the mall, or at a Wal-Mart or Target, I'm usually there to get whatever I need and then get the hell out. But Costco is different. It's strangely mesmerizing to walk down this gigantic box of a warehouse of goods sold in large quantities (and of limited selection). And don't even get me started on the free samples. Whoever thought of this idea was a genius. And that leads me to the fun fact of the day about Costco. Before it merged with Costco, most of the West Coast branches were Price Clubs. I always thought it was because they had better prices, but I learned from a prominent real estate developer that it was because the guy who started it was named Sol Price. So having made my rounds at Costco, I put together a list of things that I want from Costco, and will get once I get a chance. -Boxers, multipack -String Cheese -Golf balls, once I lose a few more -Gummi Vitamins Umm, I think that's it for now. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 26th, 2008
12:26 am	Teddy Our dog died today. Or technically, yesterday since it's after midnight now. He lived a long life. I was in middle school when we got him, just several weeks old. My sister named him Teddy because she thought he looked like a teddy bear. He was coddled a bit as a pup, but my parents didn't want him in the house, so we started putting him outside, and he got a little wilder. While he was younger, he loved to chase airplanes that flew overhead. There were a few times when he'd run into walls and other things, but he always bounced back just fine. My lasting impression of him was when one of my high school classmates, Michael Lee, would come over. We'd hang out in the backyard, and he'd ask "can I chase your dog?" I'd say sure, and he would grab a broom and chase Teddy around, but all in good fun. After I left for college and started working up north, I didn't see Teddy very often. But I'd always be pleasantly surprised at how spry he was, even as he was getting on in age. It wasn't until maybe the last year or two that time caught up with him. We've had him for 15 years, give or take a year or two, so he was definitely pushing the triple figures in dog years. He had an accident today and fell into the pool. While he was able to swim over to the highest step, he was too old and weak to pull himself out of the pool. My sister found him there after she came back from class, unsure of how long he'd been there. He was wet and cold. She tried to dry him off, and fed him. He still seemed cold and weak, so she gave him a blanket and/or pillow. After that he kept on hiding in the bushes. My sister had mentioned something about dogs doing that when they know they don't have long left. I went to check on him shortly after he got the blanket, and he wasn't breathing. RIP Teddy. I wish you eternal happiness in doggy heaven. We'll miss you. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, February 23rd, 2008
12:11 am	Love & Reciprocity Note: Please let me know if this entry gets too touchy/feely. I'll be sure to kick my own ass. I heard a really sad story today about someone that I know from "school" who had his/her engagement called off as the significant other found someone else. This person had given his/her all loving and supporting the other, only to have it all lost. Upon hearing this story, I flashed back to the movie Juno. (***Spoiler*** alert for those who haven't seen it yet. Great movie.) Juno just realizes that Vanessa and Mark did not form the perfect couple for her baby, and she falls into despair. She asks her dad whether it's possible for two people to be happy forever, or even for a few years. Dad responds: "In my opinion, the best thing you can do is to find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think that the sun shines out your ass. That’s the kind of person that’s worth sticking with." Juno finds comfort in those words. I do somewhat too, but I've been burned enough by setting my expectations based on nothing but television and movies, so I maintain a healthy level of skepticism because the crux of her dad's statement is the concept of love. Love is such a subjective thing. If someone asked you how to define love, could you? Love to one person could mean something completely different to another. What qualifies your feelings for someone as love? How can something so amorphous and abstract provide the foundation and support for a lasting relationship? I had a conversation with my friend Jenn one day about equity in relationships. She contends that generally, relationships are not equitable. One party will love the other more. I don't disagree with her, given how hard it is to define and measure the L-word to begin with. But since there appears to be confusion and imbalance within the exchange of love, how are we to rely on it? Does this imbalance matter? Or does it just matter that the two people love each other, magnitude be damned? Equality in love is difficult for me to understand. How would you feel if you loved your SO much more than he/she did? Or what if it was vice versa? Does it matter? Do couples ever argue over this? Do couples break up over this inequality? In my previous relationships, I feel like I've been on both sides of the coin, and couldn't really tell what the implications of that were. I think I've even felt the imbalance shift from one side to the other. But all of those relationships ultimately failed, so I can't really piece together any sort of pattern. And I'm not outwardly observant enough to see how it affects the normal course of my relationships. Later in my conversation with Jenn, the business asshole in me came out and analyzed it from a "risk/reward" scenario. If you really, really love a person, would you expect a certain level of love in return to make it worth your while? Or is that totally contradictory, since if you truly loved a person, would it matter if he or she loved you back? Even as a giver personality type (see Enneagram of Personality to know what I'm talking about), I told Jenn that I don't know how much (or how long) I could love a person if she didn't love me back. She asked me "why not?" And to this, I have to refer back to an entry that I wrote a while ago effeminately titled "Feelings." Jenn was right. Your feelings for someone should be such that it functions independently of any consequence. (Or my feelings rather. I don't have the audacity to tell you how you should feel.) So I had to revise my answer. I conceded that I could, but for my own sake, I'd have to somehow cut it off if the ambiguous disparity became too wide (not in my favor), or else I could end up in a world of hurt. I think that sort of answers the imbalance question for me. This may have been the situation in the case above (although I don't know for sure). So after this circuitous thought process, I think I may have accomplished something and nothing at the same time. I still don't really know how I'd describe love. One thing that sort of struck me though, was that you couldn't sell love, or give your love whimsically, even if you tried. You could sell your body, or pretend to love, but real love can only be given, not transacted. As the Beatles would say, "can't buy me love." Ok, I'm going to kick my own ass now. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, February 18th, 2008
6:18 pm	Hawaii Redux Second Hawaii trip in two months! Jealous yet? ____________________________ -Wednesday, 2/13- I ended up ditching one of my classes Wednesday afternoon to take an earlier flight. (My Thursday class got canceled again, so I only missed one class!) I arrived at around 745pm, which was about 30 minutes before schedule, but the whole song and dance of getting luggage and everything took a while. I then went to get the rental car (Alamo was actually open this time) and they gave me an option of choosing which car I wanted. I chose a black Pontiac GT. (Hmmm, Pontiac or Saturn...?) I went to get Karen at about 9pm. We'd been apart for almost a month, and she almost didn't recognize me when she saw me. We both agreed that it's really weird being apart for that long (hopefully it won't be that long again), and I think it took a little bit to get settled into one another again. We went to dinner at this place called Ichiriki. It's a Japanese place that does sort of a Shabu Shabu fare, but it's called Nabe (all the seasoning and stuff is pre-prepared for you). It was pretty good. The kimchi seasoning was the tastiest, and they even gave us these half-tubes of ground beef to make our own meatballs with (using a paddle, not our hands). Since it was only hump day for her, we turned in fairly early after. ____________________________ -Thursday, 2/14- After dropping Karen off at work, I gathered my stuff and trekked out to Hanauma Bay. It's known for the reefs and for snorkeling, and I didn't get to go last time. I thought that it would just be like a beach, and you can just jump in and snorkel (similar to my experience at Kailua Bay), but I had to first watch this instructional video. It seemed like my trip revolved around reefs, and this was the first instance. The video talked about how not to damage reefs, etc. They also said that you should go snorkeling with a buddy. This was quite sad, since it was pretty obvious that I was alone. Anyway, I rented some gear and went snorkeling. Karen had gone before and said that the reefs were high and the water was shallow, and it pretty much was. I was pretty paranoid about hitting anything. I did get to see a ton of fish, but no sea turtles (which was the complete opposite of my experience at Kailua). After snorkeling, I went to my favorite Hawaii brewery, Kona Brew Co. for more free crab cakes and some drinks. After drinking by myself (again) for a bit, I headed back to the hotel. I relaxed for a bit before I went to pick up a couple of bikes that I had rented for Valentine's Day. Since there were 2 bikes and just me, I had to pick them up sequentially, which took me a little less than an hour since the bike shop was about a mile away. Karen got off of work shortly after, and I picked her up. She printed out some directions for this 10 mile scenic drive that we took. It was a really nice drive, and took us up one of these mountains. In the middle of the drive, we stopped at this scenic park. It was about 640 pm, and the gate said that it would close at 645pm, so we rushed up. The guy working there said that we had 2 minutes before he would lock the gate, so we quickly took a bunch of pictures and sprinted back to the car to drive out. We saw him eying us as he held the gate open for a few more seconds. We drove back to the hotel room, and picked up the bikes. We rode over to Ala Moana mall, which was pretty close by, for our romantic loco moco dinner at Panya Bistro. It took us a while to find the place, and we missed our 815 pm reservations by 15 minutes, but it didn't seem to matter. This place was sort of a strange mix. The front third of the store is very similar to one of those Chinese bakeries where you could pick up a tray and a set of tongs and select which pastries you wanted to buy. The rest of the restaurant looked like a wannabe chic Asian fusion-type bar/restaurant. We sat down and ordered an ox-tail stew, and of course, a loco moco, and the meal was delicious (we also had "summer" rolls to start). The loco moco gravy was more fluid-like (not like jelly), and also came with a portabello mushroom. They also had interesting drinks like a lychee martini, and a green tea martini. After dinner and few drinks, we biked around Ala Moana Park next to the mall (even though it had closed about 20 minutes before we entered), and had a nice leisurely ride by the water. ____________________________ -Friday, 2/15- Friday morning consisted of returning the bikes and a bit of lounging around. I went to Pearl Harbor to see the USS Arizona Memorial in the afternoon (upon recommendation by Karen). The exhibit was really cool and it was free. You started with a show in the theater, which was about 45 minutes or so. They basically gave the whole background of Pearl Harbor in the context of WWII. What was also cool was that there was a survivor from the attacks in attendance, so everyone clapped for him (and he was doing an autograph signing afterwards). Once the show ended, everyone proceeded out the doors to the boat. The memorial itself is an island in the harbor that rests above the Arizona wreck below. We got a free boat ride out there, spent some time walking around it and taking pictures, and then came back. After doing a bit of shopping at the international marketplace, I washed up and picked up Karen for our "real" Valentine's Day dinner at 3660. We had initially booked this place for V-day after looking at the menu, but it turns out that they only have a set menu for that day (which included none of the things that we wanted to eat). So we thought it'd work out better to go there Friday night. The food there was good as well. To start, we got a corn and clam chowder as well as the ahi katsu, both of which were great. For the entree, she got the snapper (opakapaka) while I got a medley of beef medallion, ahi and stuffed chicken breast (pretty awesome combo). It's funny that the dinner here was really good, but the ambience made it seem like we were at a "Fresh Choice," as Karen put it. The plan after dinner was to do some work, but I think we just fell asleep instead. ____________________________ -Saturday, 2/16- I woke up with a sharp pain in my neck, and I had no idea why. I think I slept awkwardly, but my neck is still bothering me now, even after Karen so sweetly gave me multiple neck massages all weekend long. But the plan was to go skydiving in the morning in North Shore. Even with a bad neck, I decided to man up and go anyway, since the view from the island would be incredible. We stopped for a free continental breakfast (one of the few that I've really enjoyed) before going on our way. We showed up at the skydive place shortly after 11am and put our names down. We signed numerous waiver forms (each saying loudly and clearly that we could die) and patiently waited for our turn. But 1pm soon rolled around, and we weren't even on the list yet. We decided to run off to get some lunch at Kau'aina, which is known for its burgers and sandwiches. I ended up getting a turkey, ortega chile and cheese sandwich (which Karen promptly stole and replaced with her more inferior turkey, avocado, bacon and cheese sandwich) and we went back to the skydive place. Upon arrival, we heard that the plane had engine issues and was being worked on. We waited for a bit, and then we heard that there was a hold on jumps because the winds had picked up. So it was assured that we wouldn't get to jump for another couple of ours, and it was almost 2pm at that point. So we abandoned plans to jump and went to get shaved ice instead and Matsumoto's. After shaved ice, we proceeded directly to the Polynesian Culture Center. This place is like Disneyland in Pacific Islander form. There were many villages, akin to the many lands of Disneyland, such as Tonga, Samoa, Fiji, Hawaii, Aotearoa (New Zealand), etc. We got a canoe ride that went through all of these "lands" and popped in for a couple of presentations at Hawaii and Tahiti. Karen and I got hula lessons at Hawaii, and Karen doing the Tahitian dance is on my wish list for next Christmas already. The last presentation at these villages was at 530 pm. At about 5, a lot of the people working these villages had begun to mail it in, and some villages didn't even bother, which sucked for us. Most people at the PCC were at the luau, but we decided not to get it and explore more, which didn't seem to give us the most bang for our buck since the guy giving free tattoos was no longer working. What was awesome about our time here was that Karen had the brilliant idea of adding alcohol to the mix. We chugged some wine in the car before we came in and carried around some "juice" that we drank as we visited the villages. Made things even more fun. After the villages, they had an IMAX presentation about coral reefs that was really interesting. (See, told you it'd come up again.) Apparently the reefs are dying around the world due to oceanic warming, among other things. It makes me want to go see the reefs in the world, including the Great Barrier Reef in Australia, which Karen heard would probably deteriorate over the next 2-3 years. 730 pm was the Horizons show, which featured dances from each village. The show itself was fun and entertaining, rife with guys twirling and sitting on fire to crazy slap dances. Karen and I both agreed that it's a lot more fun being a guy and doing guy dances in the Pacific Islander culture. We then returned home from the long drive from North Shore and passed out again. ____________________________ -Sunday, 2/17- Somehow I woke up on my own at 6am this morning (still with a sore neck) and got us up to get ready. We were supposed to catch a flight to Maui at 735am, and despite our best efforts, missed it. Stupid Hawaiian Airlines charged us $40 apiece to take the next flight because they don't believe in "stand by" (Thanks for paying, honey) but the original fare was $29 each way so I guess it's not TOO bad. So we arrived in Maui about 30 minutes later than anticipated, and Karen's friend Johnny picked us up and took us around. The first stop was the Grand Maui Resort (I think) and the best part about this place was the crazy river pool that they had, complete with water slides. After checking out the resort, we headed over to the lava fields (and the lava beach). It was pretty awesome that you could totally see the dried lava flow from the volcanic eruption about 200 years or so ago. The beach was also covered in lava, with barely any sand. I don't know why anyone would hang out there, but some lady was there with her kids, one of whom was naked and running around on dried lava. We then went to Johnny's friends' place, and they joined us for the rest of the day. (And it was their car that we were using.) They took us to the blow hole, or whatever it's called, where the waves would come in and force water through this hole in these rocks by the water. It's pretty much like a natural ocean geyser. According to Johnny's friends, the hole was blowing up a lot the last time they went, but it was pretty subpar when we were there (although I still thought it was pretty cool). While we were hiking around there, I gashed my leg pretty badly, so that put me out of commission at our next stop, which was Lahaina beach. So I enviously watched as Karen went boogie boarding while I was watching blood trickle down my leg. But it was nice to sit out and catch some sun, and we even got to sleep a bit out there. We were then dropped off at Mama's Fish House in Paia, and it was pretty awesome. Despite not honoring my request for a window seat, they put us at a table one row back, so that the views were still very visible. The cocktails that they had (even though fruity) were good, and the food was good too. Our selection this time was the Kama Lehi (Snapper cheek) to start, and she got a panang curry with ahi, lehi and manchong while I got this Hawaiian fish, Moi. All good stuff again. We asked the restaurant to hail us a cab to the airport, and we were taken there by a Korean guy who regaled us in stories about drinking and how Koreans are stupid because they'll throw money at any "new" thing just because it's new. This was pretty much the last eventful part of the trip, not including the frustration of me trying to get to the Airport when a major highway was closed. But it was a lot of fun. I hadn't been to Hawaii ever, but in the last two months, was able to go twice. I'd definitely recommend renting a car, as I got to know Oahu pretty well that way. I don't think I'll be back in a while, but hopefully it won't be too far away. Current Music: Pepper - Back Home (Comment on this)
Friday, February 8th, 2008
1:22 pm	Expectations... ..are dangerous. (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 31st, 2008
10:42 pm	Co-habitation I should be doing work, but I decided to procrastinate (research isn't the most exciting thing to do), so I'm writing. Another classmate and I had a conversation a couple of months ago. Like me, she's currently in a long distance relationship except that she has to fight a few time zones whereas Karen is "just" 400 miles north of me (although I think I've handled the past 4 weeks of Karen in Hawaii ok enough). And to her, I'm in the enviable position of moving to Karen's vicinity after graduation, while she's still seeking a job close to her dude. So this is the background to the conversation. She was telling me about how she's looking forward to moving out to the East to be with her guy, and how they'd probably end up living together (and that she was looking forward to that too). Sort of playing devil's advocate, I threw out some arguments about why not to do it given my previous experience (which I will discuss below). We debated about this for a while, but we both held steadfast in our positions. Fast forward to last weekend. I grabbed dinner with the same friend, who remarked to me that she has decided that she is going to get a place of her own, which was a complete 180 from our earlier conversation. After dinner, we headed to a birthday party and had a conversation with another classmate, who said the following to her: "If you want to stay with the guy, don't live with him. If you don't, live with the guy." He threw out more concrete numbers (Heaven knows where he actually got them) saying that there is a 60% chance of marriage for couple that live together versus 40% for couples who don't. He himself tried it too, and that relationship ended after 6 months (he got rid of the girl). His main argument was, once you live together, what made marriage special? What did you have to look forward to, once you've already shared your living quarters with someone else? I talked to this same friend of mine just a day or two ago, who flip-flopped again about the living situation. Apparently, she underestimated the cost of buying a place in the area she's hoping to work in, and have been in talks with her guy. This issue of living together is a touchy one. I've heard arguments for both sides. I myself had tried it before (for a fairly extended period of time), and even though that wasn't the reason for the failed relationship, I'd have to re-think about whether I'd do it again. (By the way, my parents still don't know, so I'd appreciate keeping it on the DL.) Especially as a working professional, it was nice to be able to come home and see the significant other (sort of like killing two birds with one stone). However, towards the end of the relationship, I did start to feel that living together started to wear on the "fun" of the relationship as I was the more responsible one of the two of us. (Or at least I thought so.) But sometimes I think it was a function of who we were as opposed to the fact that we were living together. There's also the issue of finding your own space. Say the two of you get into an argument. There really isn't that much space for yourself to sort of decompress. In my previous situation, the then-girlfriend could always hike back home, but I'd be left without a place of solace/meditation. While it seems that there are many reasons stacked against living together, quite obviously the benefit of it is that you'd get to see that person more, and you would have something else that you'd get to share together. In addition, some people I know are very much in favor of living together before marriage, sort of to "test drive" the married life before actually jumping into it. I have some friends who have lived with their significant others for years before getting married, and it seems to have worked out. So all in all, I really can't say whether it would be something I would do or not. On RSF, there was a quote that Ju Yon posted that sort of resonated with this topic (as well as in many relationship situations) that I think I'll adopt going forward. After all, I didn't think I'd be that open to a long distance relationship, but here I am. “The two worst strategic mistakes to make are acting prematurely and letting an opportunity slip; to avoid this, the warrior treats each situation as if it were unique and never resorts to formulae, recipes or other people's opinions.” -Paulo Coelho (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 24th, 2008
6:34 pm	Hawaii! (Part II) Hawaii (Part II) ____________________________ -Saturday, 1/19- Started off nice and lazy, as we just hung out in the morning. In the early afternoon, we went to Rainbow's Drive-in for some plate lunches. Man, these things are good but are so bad for you. This place is a local favorite and the prices were pretty cheap. After that, we made a trip to the airport to cash in on Karen's United voucher so that I can come back to Hawaii next month. (Jealous, yet?) We went to the ticketing counter, which was empty (as we expected) and tried to book a ticket. It took a while, and then all of a sudden, a long line formed. I think the natives were getting restless, and they had to open two more boothes. We missed the cutoff to go to the Swap Meet (I think it closes at 3pm) so we ended up driving back to the hotel to get ready for Sunset on the Beach. This event is a free movie showing on Waikiki beach on Saturdays and Sundays. The movie that night was Shrek 3. Karen and I dug a pit in a way so that we can recline and prop our heads up during the movie. (Don't worry, we had towels to sit on too.) It was pretty cool, except that it rained for about 5 minutes. Casey suggested that we go to this place Sansei for late night when everything was 50% off. Karen and I went there for dinner after the movie and managed to spend $75 (equivalent of $150). I don't think I've spent that much on sushi before. Although to be fair, we got a couple of salads, some sashimi/rolls and a large warm sake. Towards the end of dinner, we were treated to various renditions by tourists performing karaoke, as the same 3 groups of people alternated singing (some good, some not). We turned in shortly after that. ____________________________ -Sunday, 1/20- To make up for our late start the day before, we woke up much earlier this day. We went to church, which was at Waikiki Beach right in front of the hotel. It was pretty interesting. One of the parishioners thought Karen and I were locals. After church, we hopped into the car and went on the Manoa Falls hike. This was more of a trail (unlike Diamond Head) since it was just a muddy path throughout a tropical forest. Both Karen and I commented that it was pretty cool that it seems all rainforest-like there. The falls at the end were pretty cool and we took a bunch of pictures. I had the pleasure of gloating to Karen about my immaculately clean legs (at least for most of the hike) whereas she had kicked up a bunch of mud on her legs (which she ended up cleaning off with her sock). (Karen, don't hate me for posting this!) We went to the mall afterwards for lunch and went to--where else?--Curry House! They had a lot of interesting stuff, but no hamburger curry, which led me to believe that it wasn't the same chain. Karen got a chicken and spinach curry, and I got a chicken cutlet and kimchi curry dish. Both were delicious. We saw that they had a creamy corn croquet, and we got that as a side because we were curious. The place lets you create your own curry, to which Karen later joked that we could get a curry with everything on it (i.e. chicken, pork cutlet, kimchi, creamy corn croquet, spinach, mushroom, eggplant, etc.). It sounds disgustingly awesome. We hadn't been to North Shore yet, so after lunch we jumped in the car and drove up to North Shore. We stopped by Waimea (sp?) Beach and hung out for a bit. We decided against going in the water, but got a lot of nice shots of the beach (one of which is my desktop now). After that, we hit up Sunset Beach and walked around a bit there before going back to Honolulu. On the drive back, I introduced Karen to Enviga, which is a calorie burningly awesome drink and full of caffeine. If you haven't tried yet, you should. Our next destination was back at the mall for some shopping. (Sales tax in HI is like 4.something%.) But the mall was closed when we got there. We had passed a $1 theater on the way there, so we tried to catch American Gangster but it was sold out. Dinner was Korean BBQ. We got a Kalbi and Bulgogi combo, which was so worth it, as well as a tofu stew. We then hit up Safeway afterwards so Karen could go grocery shopping, and she proceeded to buy a pack of Enviga. This was a long day, so we both passed out pretty quickly after. ____________________________ -Monday, 1/21- We slept at around midnight. I wanted to be out the door by 6am to drop off the rental car, get to the airport and check in for my 810am flight. But seeing as 1) I didn't sleep THAT much, 2) I'm leaving Hawaii and 3) I'm leaving my girl, the motivation wasn't quite there. I ended up out the door at about 630am. It was pretty fortunate that traffic wasn't bad and the timing of it all worked out so that after dropping off the car, riding the shuttle, checking in and grabbing breakfast, I arrived at the gate right in time to be boarded. Sweet. I slept the whole 6 hours back home. I can't wait to come back next month! (Comment on this)
5:04 pm	Hawaii! (Part I) So here's another "what have I been doing" entry. But it's my first trip to Hawaii! So thus begins my textual slideshow. (Edit: I think I might break this up into two entries since it's getting long.) ____________________________ -Wednesday, 1/16- After class (around 430pm-ish), my friend Lisa gave me a ride to the airport. I thought maybe I'd treat her to dinner or a drink (to kill a bit of time) but she had none of that. So she dropped me off and I checked in around 515pm. My flight wasn't until 815pm, so I had quite a bit of time to kill. I looked for some paid internet machines, but there weren't any, so I ended up passing out on a chair for a while. Turns out, my flight was delayed until 915pm. I had booked a rental car for my arrival (which initially was 1220am) but was now an hour later. So lo and behold, when I arrived, nothing was running. Everything had closed at 1am, but I didn't know that. Karen had to text me about it after I had been searching and deciphering pidgin English from the airport workers for 30 minutes. I ended up taking a $30 cab ride to the hotel at about 2am. Any frustration that I had felt melted away pretty quickly once I got to Karen's room though, since it was really nice to see her. I even got lei'd by her that night since it was my first visit to Hawaii. Karen wanted me to post a picture of the lei so that you perverts (ahem, Bosun) don't get the wrong idea, but I figure, we're all adults here. ____________________________ -Thursday, 1/17- Karen had to go to work, so I sort of woke up with her. At about 9am, I called the rental car company to complain about them closing. I guess they can't help it, but I felt that I had enough of an argument. I had booked a car for the week with a discount, and it was cheap. When I booked it, they even asked me for my flight number just in case my flight was delayed. So naturally, I assumed that they would still have a car for me that night as a courtesy, even though they're scheduled to close. But because they weren't open, I had to spend $30 to get to the hotel. And now the rental car was at the airport, to which I would have to spend another $30 to go pick up. I voiced my concern to the lady on the phone, who obviously wasn't authorized to give me any sort of discounts or remedies. So I asked to talk to her supervisor. What came of it was that I was allowed to pick up a car at the location next to the hotel (thankfully), could drop it off at the airport and still use the online discount that I had (which the lady wasn't letting me use). But the total still came to more than I had initially booked it for. I sort of gave up at that point and took the package that they offered me. After settling that, I left the room at around 930am. The plan was to do the Diamond Head trail, which was 4 miles from the hotel. I thought it'd be nice to run to the trail, hike it, and run back, which I did. Diamond Head was a pretty easy trail, although trail is sort of a misnomer since it was paved and had stairs. And it's only about a 1.5 mile hike roundtrip. Turns out that over half of the hikers at Diamond Head were either young Japanese girls or old Japanese ladies. After dodging these hikers and running to the top, I saw some dude selling certificates of completion for $2, which I thought was a total ripoff. But I was able to take some nice pictures, which I can show you on request. After running back down, I started to run back. Now it turns out that this journey was close to 10 miles roundtrip. At about the 8 mile mark, I was running back to the hotel and my calf cramped up pretty badly. I nearly fell over, but stretched it out and decided to walk the rest of the way back. I stopped by Subway for lunch, since I felt it would be a waste of all that running to eat a gigantic plate lunch (and I wasn't that hungry). I went back to the room and ate. Then I went out to the balcony of Karen's room and passed out. The balcony is pretty awesome. It overlooks the resort, as well as the beach, which is a couple miles up from Waikiki. After showering, I wanted to go to the Menehune Mac candy store that Liane suggested. She said that you can make your own candy there. So I started walking, even though I wasn't sure how far it was. After about a mile and a half, I began to wonder whether I should do some research before I walked further. I was across the street from a mall so I went in there. After buying a few things, the lady working in the Hilo Hattie store said that it was pretty far, so I re-thought my plan. I decided to walk back and pick up the rental car. On my way back, I saw a Curry House, which is an awesome place to eat at and had to share my excitement with Sam and Richard. Also, I was wearing a new pair of Reef sandals which ended up chafing my left foot and left it blistered, so walking wasn't all that much fun. After picking up the car, I thought I might try to go to the candy place again and started driving. But traffic was HORRENDOUS. Karen had mentioned that traffic was typically pretty bad, but this was ridiculous. I went 10 feet in 45 minutes. I turned on the radio to pass the time, and it turns out, some guy had THROWN A 2 YEAR OLD OFF A PEDESTRIAN OVERPASS into the highway. (Needless to say, the 2 year old didn't survive.) This caused authorities to close all lanes, so traffic wasn't moving at all. This all happened in the direction of the candy store. In the meantime, I was perusing a tourist magazine and saw a coupon for free crab cakes at a brewery in the opposite direction. So I aborted my candy trip and went to the brewery instead. The brewery was the Kona Brewing Company, and they make Longboard Ale and other well-known beers. I get a sampler and a porter and had some delicious crab cakes. Karen told me to take pictures throughout the day, so I had the bartender chick take a picture of me with all these beers. After this adventure, Karen got off work and I picked her up. We went to eat dinner at this ramen place called Goma Ichi, which was pretty good, and then went back to the room because she was exhausted. ____________________________ -Friday, 1/18- Karen went to work again, but forgot her phone. So I got up and dropped her phone off for her, since it was on the way to Kailua Beach where I was going to go kayaking and snorkeling. The drive up on Pali Hwy was pretty nice since it was between two mountains and it was lush and green. I got to the rental place and bought a kayak tour/snorkeling package which lasted for most of the day. It was about 10am and the tour didn't start until noon, so I had some time to kill. I went snorkeling at Kailua Beach, but the water was cold and sort of cloudy. After snorkeling around for about an hour, I had only seen 2 fish and a sea turtle. I got out and went to get some lunch, which was included in the package. I got a loco moco (which was only ok, so my plan is to get a better one next time I'm back). The tour started, and it was pretty cool. We had two guides take us to Flat Island, which is about a 30 minute paddle away from the beach. Once on the island, we went on a tour. The island was an old coral reef that rose up above the surface of the water. At one point, we were able to look over the water at another beach, where they filmed Tears in the Sun (starring Bruce Willis). He bought a house overlooking the same beach, which we saw as well. I had met an old tattooed couple (not super old, maybe middle aged) from OC who came to Hawaii because they won it from going on a timeshare presentation. They tacked on a few days to that package, and between the two of them only spent $850 for 6 days. That's pretty awesome. I think I might have to do that sometime. The old dude was really into seeing sea turtles and said that if he saw another one while snorkeling around the island, he would tattoo a turtle on his leg. And he did see another one. After finishing the tour, I made the drive back. I tried going to Pali Lookout, but it required getting on a bus and all that nonsense, so I decided that it wasn't worth it. (Plus it had started to rain.) I made a stop at the candy place (finally) but when I went in, I was the only one there. It was a little odd, so I didn't feel like making my own candy. I bought a few things and left. I went back to the hotel, bought some more stuff and then hung out at the bar by the beach, which was really nice. At 730pm, the hotel had a firework show. Apparently, they have one every Friday. I went on the balcony to take pictures for Karen, who hadn't see the show yet after being there for 2 weeks. Karen got off work after that, so we went to have dinner with some of her co-workers, pre-drank some vodka/rock stars in the hotel room and hit the bar at the W Hotel afterwards. I feel like there are some people that I can click with when I dance, and some people that I can't. Karen is someone who I think I really click with on the dance floor, and I'd told her that it'd be fun to go out in Hawaii, so I was pretty happy that we got to do some dancing at the W that night. That was it for Friday, I think. I'll talk about the weekend in the next entry. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008
12:07 am	Random Thoughts 2008, Part I So I really have no point to this entry than to collect a lot of random thoughts. I'm anticipating that this will likely happen throughout the year, so this will be part I. This won't include my recent trip to Hawaii, which was awesome, as I will save that for a later day. As always, I'm going to be candid in my remarks so feel free to flame me. _________________________ -Veronica- A little over a month ago, I wrote about Veronica's disappearance. Last week, a body was discovered on Mt. Tam that turned out to be her, as a result of a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head. She had been missing for 5 weeks. My mom guessed that she didn't want to be found, and that may have been the case since she was some ways off the trail. It's still a bit shocking to me, especially since I saw her the Friday before, and since I'd never thought it'd be something that she would ever consider doing. But at this point I'm just glad that there's some closure for everyone. A mutual friend and I had a conversation recently where he/she said that it was a "selfish" thing for her to do, given the aftermath of it all and its effect on all of her loved ones. I tend to agree. While I can't say that I ever seriously considered suicide, I don't think I would ever contemplate it for that reason alone (although there are many other reasons why I wouldn't do it). A few years back, I posted a hypothetical situation on RSF asking everyone if they would consider that course of action if it meant that all of their loved ones would be happy for the rest of their lives. I said yes. And as I recall, others did too. Although someone did mention that it's sort of a paradox for your loved ones to be happy if you were gone. Anyway, I can't speak for Veronica or what she was going through, especially since we hardly talked over the last year and a half or however long it was. I won't spend too much time in tribute, since I already did that in RSF. But she was a wonderful girl, and I hope that she's in a better place now. RIP Veronica. We'll miss you. _________________________ -New Year's Resolution (Revised)- 1) Be a Good Christian. 2) Be a good son. 3) Be a good friend. 4) Be a good boyfriend. 5) Run a sub-20 minute 5K. 6) Be neat and clean. (At least one of us needs to be. You know I'm talking about you. :) ) _________________________ -Things I need- I had a list of things that I needed that I put together a year and a half ago. I actually got most of the things on that list. Time for an update. 1) Better battery for my laptop Umm, I can't think of anything else right now. _________________________ -Feelings- Ok, so this is a pretty crappy title for this section but I just sat here for 10 minutes and couldn't think of anything better (or concise). A female classmate and I have tossed around "hypothetical" dating situations (in quotes because you know they're never really hypothetical) since we started at USC in order to better ourselves in our respective dating positions. Recently, we had a conversation about her current situation. As usual, the main topic was the "I wonder if he (or she, in my case) likes me." Without getting into the gory details, the gist of the conversation boils down to this line: Her: I'm not willing to put my feelings on the line without confirmation that he feels the same way. So this made me wonder. I think many people (guys and girls) try to protect themselves by not becoming too emotionally vested in a person until they attain some sense of security, whether it's that the other person feels the same way, or just getting to know them better, etc. And I think this is a pretty normal and/or prudent thing to do. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately, I don't know yet), I don't operate this way. I sort of questioned her motive in our conversation, because it seemed like she wanted to get the guy to like her before deciding whether or not to pursue a relationship. (Which is kind of messed up if you ask me, because she could totally drop him after he falls for her.) I sort of feel like your feelings about a person should be unadorned by the risks that accompany a relationship. The feelings should be pure; the part about whether or not you want to take the leap into a relationship should be the part that's questioned given his/her reciprocity. So I told her that, and she retracted her statement and said that she would be interested in a relationship but wanted confirmation. My rationale for risking my feelings and potentially suffering emotional damage is simple: the world operates with the yin and the yang. There is no good without evil, and there is no hot without cold. While it does suck to put yourself out there to get shot down (or what have you), I try to cherish those moments because it makes you appreciate the good times more. I tend to be an optimist in most cases (definitely not with the economy and the markets, which is sucking it up big time right now). While I've definitely suffered some emotional damage, and made some terrible choices in the past dating-wise, I always believe that things will look up at some point. I mean, after all, in the dating world you only need to succeed once, right? And when it does, wouldn't you want to have given it your all? It doesn't make sense to only give half your heart. It's like trying to dig half a hole, in my humble opinion. Currently being in a long distance relationship (a topic which I may save for a rainy day) does suck sometimes. But the yin/yang philosophy keeps me optimistic and helps me look ahead to the times that when I'll actually get to see her and spend time with her. Sort of as an aside (as I'm in the process of renewing my faith), the testimony at the church service on the beach in Waikiki this past Sunday was about unwavering faith (or mountain-moving faith, as it was titled). A lady was giving testimony about how she faced tough times, and sometimes would even question her faith. But the point is that we shouldn't blame God for these situations, for He never gives us more than we can bear. While I've never faced anything nearly as bad as she had faced, I think this yin/yang philosophy helps me keep my faith (or at least it has in the past) and only serves to make me a better person. In conclusion, I wanted to end with an episode of South Park where Wendy Testaburger breaks up with Stan. He gets really hurt by this, and ends up becoming a goth kid, dressing up in black and writing poems with other goth kids about how everything is about pain and stuff. In the same episode, Butters falls in love with this Raisins girl and thought that she was his girlfriend (but really wasn't). Later in the episode, she breaks his heart and he ends up crying at the side of the road where he encounters Stan and the goth kids. The goth kids ask Butters to join them, to which Butters says: "Yeah... and I'm sad! But at the same time I'm really happy that something can make me feel that sad... it's like... it makes me feel alive, y'know? It makes me feel human. The only way I could feel this sad now, is if I felt somethin' really good before, so I have to take the bad with the good. So I guess what I'm feelin' is, like a beautiful sadness... I guess that sounds stupid... Besides, I'd rather be a crying little pussy than a faggy goth kid." (Comment on this)
Friday, January 11th, 2008
5:29 pm	Yesterday I agreed to help my former co-worker Young write some letters of rec because she's also looking to go to b-school. As appreciation for my help, she bought me the new 3rd gen iPod nano since she works at Apple and gets mad discounts. This is my first ever Apple product, and I must say that it's pretty cool. I think I spent the first three days with it doing nothing but typing in album cover names so that the artwork would be displayed on the screen. So after uploading a bunch of songs, I came across one of my favorite ska songs of all time. I don't know if any of you out there are ska fans, but this is a good one if you're interested. Yesterday by Mustard Plug. I also know a lot of you don't like my taste in music, so whatever. I also know that quoting lyrics comes off as cheesy and/or lame (I haven't done it in 4 years!!!) but I like these ones. It's the chorus. Thinkin', lookin', hopin' that I'll find a way You know, that I, can't stop counting all the days That you're not here to say You know I miss you more More than yesterday (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, January 7th, 2008
12:08 pm	New Year's 2007 (or is it 2008?) It's the New Year, and like any good American, I will abide by tradition and do the whole resolution bit. Let's review mine from last year, shall we? Ken's Resolutions (2007 version) 1) Return of the asshole Verdict: I don't know if I am one now, but I do feel much more confident. Success? 2) Read the Wall St Journal Everyday Verdict: I can't say that I thoroughly read this everyday, but I at least skim it and I'm happier about how much more abreast of the news and economy I am. Success! 3) Sub-20 minute 5K Verdict: FAIL. I only ran one timed 5K and got 22 minutes. This will roll over to next year. So here are my resolutions (2008 version) 1) Be a Good Christian. 2) Be a good son. 3) Be a good friend. 4) Be a good boyfriend. 5) Run a sub-20 minute 5K. Aside from the last one, I think the others are all very subjective. We'll see if I come through. I seem to have stopped giving life updates on this thing, but this past week deserves some mention. It was a fun week up in the bay. New Year's eve involved a pot luck, pajama pants, sock puppets, karaoke and a white elephant gift exchange. Arguably, I exchanged the worst gift and got the best gift in return, so I basically made out like a bandit. I also drank a whole bottle of wine by myself (bottle of cab). I was very impressed with myself there. Prior to New Year's, Casey and I drove up to Sugar Bowl for the first snowboarding of the season. We were so awesome that we went through a snow chain area, missed our turn-off, realized it, had to go back through the snow chain area, and finally made it there. We left at 530am, but didn't start snowboarding until 11am. Awesome. After New Year's, Karen and I made a trip to Tahoe, which was fun. The sad part of it all though, was the massive storm that was set to hit. We were ready to watch a movie we had just rented when we heard the news report say that a "historic" storm is set to hit, with record levels of snow and winds gusting up to 90 mph. We sort of looked at each thought "maybe we should leave right now." So we packed up, returned the movie and drove home. The scene down in Fremont (where she lives) was like a tornado. I'm back home now, and I still have one week of vacation left. Haha, suckers! (Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 25th, 2007
11:21 am	Eternity Last phone conversation: 18 days ago (1 more to go?) Last time seeing her: 23 days ago (3 more to go?) Typing it out, I don't know whether it sounds like a long time, but it's felt like an eternity. Merry Christmas everyone. (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 6th, 2007
2:18 am	Worlds Collide This past week has been a complete whirlwind for me, as in this span of time I've experienced some exuberant highs but also a shocking low. It's all been swimming in my head so pardon me while I go mental diarrhea into this blog. I'm probably also going to be pretty candid about certain things, so I hope not to disrespect or offend anyone. At this point in my life, there are probably few things that could have matched the "high" that was 2am (approximately), 12/1. After a few tumultuous months (wow, was it that long?), I finally conned an absolutely wonderful girl into becoming my girlfriend. You'll probably hear more about her awesomeness going forward, so get used to it. It's unfortunate that my first mention of her comes in such a weird entry. (Sorry, sweetie.) Earlier that night, my buddy Gabe finally left KPMG. He is probably the world's worst quitter, as he had wanted to quit a year before I did (May/June 2006) and it took him until this past week to do so. As is customary at KPMG, there was a PU (farewell party) for him at 111 Minna, and I was fortunate enough to be on the distribution list. I forwarded the invite to my ex-girlfriend Veronica, mainly to return the favor of when she called me about my friend Andrea's PU this past summer. We hadn't talked much since we had broken up, but started to talk a bit more when I saw her at Kent and Bosun's wedding. In her email, her reply didn't sound very confident that she could make it, so I didn't expect her to be there. To my surprise, she made it, and we caught up a little bit. She seemed her usual cheery self, and having heard through the grapevine, exclaimed how she was excited to meet my current object of affection, Karen. (I'm still not sure who told her.) While we ended up all going to dinner in a group after the PU, no official meeting ever occurred, for better or worse. I did feel bad about making Karen suffer through the whole ordeal. While she told me that it was fine, a part of me doesn't really believe it, since no other female that I've talked to said that they would've been okay in that situation. So Karen, I'm sorry (again). Fast forward to Monday night. I received a call from Casey asking me for contact information for a couple of Veronica's closest friends. I thought this was a bit strange, and thought that maybe they were all getting together for a party or something, but the explanation that I got from Casey was downright shocking: Veronica was missing. Of course I was very concerned and worried, but that led to a confusing exchange inside my head. For three and a half years, there was no one who I was closer to than Veronica. But to me, she was a much different person at the end than at the beginning of that relationship. Compound that with the year and a half or so of infrequent communication with her. So while I still cared for her, in essence, she could've been a completely different person--one that I didn't really even know (anymore). I wasn't sure if I should be up in arms, or take a more passive approach in helping with the situation. Some of my friends who had been in fairly long relationships even sympathized, saying that they wouldn't know how to feel. Given my current circumstance with school and what not, I elected not to make a last minute trip up north. I ended up staying up that night helping provide pictures for Casey to make fliers with, still somewhat numb and confused with it all. It wasn't until the next day that the gravity of the situation settled in for me. One of the pictures that I provided Casey was now plastered all over the news and internet, and that was really strange to see. Once Veronica's disappearance hit the 24 hour mark, my heart sank, as I knew it was really serious. I sort of expected her to turn up somehow (and in a sense, I still do). The Veronica that I knew was a fighter and an optimist. She wasn't a quitter, nor did she run away. So as I slowly pieced together the stories out there, it all didn't make any sense to me. The sadness and confusion of it all was very depressing. In the meantime, Karen played the role of the dutiful girlfriend and consoled me through the week. I imagine that all of this must be really strange/weird/awkward for her, since after the initial awkward "meeting" on Friday, all she's heard about were stories about my ex-girlfriend. I'm amazed by the amount of patience and understanding that she has (or maybe she's just not telling me otherwise) and she actually wrote to me some of the kindest words that I've received in quite a while. This whole situation has been very surreal, given the newness of my current relationship and the flashback to my last relationship with all the people involved, and having it all sort of intertwined. Veronica has since been missing for 4 days now. I'm still hoping and praying for the best, for her to come back home safely to her loved ones. If you would like to help or have any information, please go to the following website: http://www.audcast.com/findveronicaruiz/ (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 24th, 2007
1:46 am	Inevitable I'm going to get hurt really really badly. But you know, maybe I just can't have it any other way... (Comment on this)