kwest80

It's been a couple of days since the memorable Lost series finale so I feel like I should chime in. I'll try to keep spoilers to a minimum but you've been warned. (edit: I tried but it's tough. Plenty of spoilers so abort now if you wish.)

I think I've exclaimed my displeasure with the series finale to most of my friends. After some more thought, I've decided to take some of it back because it really is a season long failure that I am angry about.

For those who've seen Lost, or heard about it, I think the main attraction was the action and intrigue generated by a bunch of survivors on a random mysterious island. Week after week, they would parade around previews showing bombs exploding and gun/fistfights and entering a random code to push an unexplained button on a computer. This culminated in season 5 with the island skipping through time because of a strange underground donkey wheel which would also magically transport the activator of the wheel to Tunisia. After the time shifting ended, the protagonists left on the island were trapped in the 70s, while those that managed to get off deciding to return to the island by crashing a plane on it. And half those people ended up in the present and the other half in the past! The remedy for the situation? Blow up an atomic bomb of course. This was all on top of giant statues, a wrecked olden ship in the middle of the island, polar bears, smoke monsters and seemingly ageless people.

This was the intrigue of the show for me. What the heck was going on? How does it all work? What's the big picture here? The final season came with much anticipation as we all looked for answers.

Then we saw a new wrinkle. After detonating a bomb, a new world or "alternate reality" emerged as part of the show (beginning of the final season) but ran concurrent with the current world where the castaways are STILL on the island. We the audience spent all of the last season trying to figure out what this all means and how the world's connect. And the series finale? It told us the answer.

Well that's just great. I'm fine with the final season as is, but what about seasons 1-5? All of the excitement and intrigue from the crazy scientific quandaries... like why can't women give birth to babies on the island? Or what is up with all the electromagnetism and the teams sent to study it? Or why is there a disparity in time between the island and the rest of the world, as diagnosed by a genius physicist on the show? No explicit answers were ever given.

As executive producer Damon Lindelof told E! Online, "I feel like you have to be very careful about entering into Midi-Chlorian territory (referring to the oft-maligned Star Wars Episode I)... But 'What is the Island?' That starts to get into 'What is the Force?' It is a place. I can't explain to you why it moves through space-time—it just does. You have to accept the fact that it does."

W. T. F. Lindelof and fellow producer Carlton Cuse have been throwing all of this science fictional stuff at us this whole time, but now we're just supposed to accept it? What teases. They say the show has been about characters' development and relationships. Fine, I accept that. It wasn't something just thrown in last second because we've seen all of the characters in their lives pre-island, post-island (for some) and in the alternate reality. Okay great, makes sense. But it's such a cop out for using the mixture of science, mystery and fantasy to lure us in. The funny thing is that this is eerily reminiscent of several of the characters' journey before, during and after being on the island. Everyone is supposed to have to go through a process of letting go. That's how they reach peace in the end.

Well fuck you Lindelof and Cuse. I'm not your puppet. I'm not a character in your story. You can't tell me just to accept things. In real life, if people misled you into believing you were going to get something that you in effect don't get, that's called detrimental reliance and you could get your ass sued in court. Because this is your brainchild, you're protected legally but the ill feelings are still there.

All of this is like someone concocting the most aromatic food ever. Something that smells enticingly delicious. As you get hungrier and hungrier, the scent becomes more overpowering and you want to get your hands on the meal and eat it. You work your way to the kitchen and when you finally get there, you get nothing. Actually, on top of nothing, you get a treadmill and you have Lindelof and Cuse telling your fat ass to run. Because it's good for you. Because you need to "let go" of the pounds.

None of this would have been an issue if they were upfront about it. When Alice was in Wonderland, you knew she was in motherfucking Wonderland. You don't question why the Cheshire cat disappears, or what's up with all those idiots at the tea party. Same with Lord of the Rings. Conversely, with shows like Star Trek, they actually come up with reasons why things work even though it's far from anything we have in reality. (e.g. Why do all aliens speak English? How does a starship travel so fast? How do people beam from one place to the next?) And this is all acceptable as well.

But throwing all of this in and then telling us that the whole thing is about character development and ending with them all reaching a point of enlightenment? Not impressed. The creators even threw in an episode about the history of the island and it's famous protector Jacob to try to appease everyone. Except all this did was try to get us to forget about all the science fictional stuff and dismiss it all as pixie dust and magic. I'm sorry, it's hard to forget when that's the ONLY reason you've tuned in for the last 5 seasons. Dismissing this whole thing as being about character development and relationships is like how a bunch of idiots out there explain how Twilight isn't a story about vampires, it's a story about character development and relationships. (Yes there are people out there who say this.) Right, it's not a vampire story. THEN WHY DO YOU HAVE PEOPLE WITH FANGS WHO DRINK BLOOD IN IT?!?!?!

Look, you're getting paid millions of dollars. The least you could do is fulfill both ends. Give us answers and make it about character development. I don't get paid to do half my job. Why should I accept that from someone else?

I've come up with several analogies as to what this whole series has been like. My best one was comparing Lost to a great 5 course meal, with every meal being amazing except for the last (entree) one. But my friend Andrew had an even better one which I'm quoting below (edited for grammar):

"I'd equate the series to one of [our friend] Sam's favorites, a hot date. You go pick her up and she comes out looking unbelievable (season 1). You get dinner. The ambience is nice. The conversation and interaction is okay (seasons 2-3). Move on to the movie. The material is a bit heavy for a casual date. You have glaringly different reactions to specific parts, highlighting differences in your personalities and values. Maybe it'll be an early night (seasons 3-4). Still, you opt for some drinks. The bar ends up being exactly the right scene. Not pretentious. Decent crowd. Just what you both wanted. With a little buzz on board, you're both more relaxed and the conversation picks up (season 5). Back at the house, foreplay. She's still looking good. You get the dress off. Hooray, it's not control briefs. Through the course of the date, you'd gradually stopped paying as much attention, but goddamn, she's looking fine (season 6). And the sex. The sex sucks. To quote the Kobe Bryant transcript 'I didn't finish at all' (season finale). You get out of there quickly ("Sure, I'll call you"). On to the next jumpoff."

Overall, do I regret being a fan? Not at all. Still a great ride. The suspense/excitement was great and we witnessed some great acting. (Michael Emerson aka Ben in particular was great. To go from hating his character to respecting him so much for his acting was a joy in itself.) But it doesn't excuse what I feel is poor resolution on the part of the creators.

Work has been a challenge recently since we're integrating our group with that of a failed local banked. So to cheer myself up, I will indulge in things that I like (as opposed to Things I Dislike, see older posts).

One of the best compliments I received was as follows:

"That was one of the top 3 Karaoke performances I've ever seen in my life, and the other two were by Japanese girls."

-B-school classmate after my turn at the mic

Ok, it's pretty lame that this update will be about a reality-based MTV show, but Season 5 was a complete travesty. Poreotix is by far the worst champion in the history of ABDC. I hate this show now. And yes, I've spent the last few minutes after the finale aired updating every form of social networking I have to show my displeasure.

There were free subway sandwiches in the kitchen today. Those of you who know me can imagine how happy I was. That got me thinking that all free things are good. By definition, if it's free, it's good and you're happy.

For example:

"Look, I got a free subway sandwich!"

It's good. I'm happy.

What will not happen is this:

"Look, I got a free banana peel"
or
"Awesome, a free flaming bag of dog crap!"

Why? Because "free" stuff that you don't want is just garbage. If I gave you something you didn't want, it's garbage. Or trash. Or crap. But not good. That's not to say that garbage can't be good, if it's garbage that you wanted. You may want free rotten eggs to egg someone with (still, needs to be desired by you). Or if you hate subway sandwiches, but wanted to take one to give to me, your friend who likes subway sandwiches, there is still somewhat of a desire there.

Therefore, free stuff = good stuff.

I forgot a couple of things to my last post (which would have made my Top 8 into a Top 10).  As I can only remember one of the two things right now, I'll add to the list in separate posts.  This will be #9 since I can actually remember it off the top of my head...

9) Men's Locker Room at the Gym

Because I'm not quite yet an astronaut, I go to 24 Hour Fitness.  The gym and workout equipment is fine, but every time I go to change into, and out of, my gym clothes, I'm reminded about how much I hate hate hate the men's locker room.  Here are a few reasons why:

-Puddles of water: There are always puddles, or trails, of water in the gym.  I can't tell whether this is water dripping off guys who have just showered, guys coming in from the hot tub/steam room, or just guys who sweat profusely.  In any case, I don't want to touch it.  And no, none of it is ever because of me.

-Lack of space: I hate hate hate leaning over to pack away my gym stuff only to look up and see a NAKED CROTCH IN MY FACE.  Normally I'd joke about how much I love having some dude's junk in my face, but this is too disgusting to joke about because it's usually some guy who had just finished with his workout.

-The smell: Self-explanatory.

More than anything else, this all might be close to the top of the list of reasons why I need to make a LOT of money.  So that I can buy a big house and a lot of workout equipment.  Why don't I just pay for a more expensive gym membership to a nicer club?  Because it's much more convenient to workout at home, plus making such a huge investment is motivation to actually keep working out.  Plus, the gym is gym time.  It's counterproductive to make it into a social club with happy hour (ahem*sportsclubLA*ahem).  

#10 to come when I remember it.

Been a long time since my last post. Other than losing and gaining a job, plus trips to Vail, Denver and Seattle/Vancouver, I can't say that it's been super-eventful, for better or worse. But I'll probably get to my life events in due time.

There have been things that have been bugging me for a while so I thought I'd get it off my chest before the new year rolls around. Some of them you could call pet peeves, but in general, they're things that I don't like or can't understand. While you may disagree, I feel justified. So without further ado, the Top 8 things that are currently bothering me (8 since I'm Chinese):

8) Anonymous Posting/Commenting

If you're going to leave a comment (like you're about to do so below), the least you can do is leave your name. It's cowardly to say something and not reveal who you are. Unless you're Deep Throat and you're talking about Nixon/Watergate. And I know you're not.

7) "Cheers"

I dislike the use of this word in any other sense than to toast a drink. I can tolerate if you're dealing with Euros or Aussies who use it all the time. I had a business school friend email me with the signature "cheers, name." Why would you do that???

6) "Touch Base"

I realize a lot of these things I dislike will be related to words/terminology, but I feel the need to expound on it. Unless we're at my workplace, "touching base" should NEVER be used unless we're playing some game that requires circling bases, or we're getting busy at the moment. No. Other. Time. I had a friend who said "let's touch base" in terms of figuring out when we wanted to meet up for lunch. You couldn't just say "call me later???" Ugh.

5) "Could care less"

It's "couldn't care less." Do you even hear what you're saying? If you "could care less," why don't you?

4) Bikram Yoga

I don't know too much about this, whether it's a cultural/religous/etc. thing so I don't mean to disrespect on that end. But doing yoga in extreme conditions? Are you kidding me???

I'm not hating on yoga. Yoga is a great exercise. But the last time I did any sort of exercise under Bikram Yoga conditions, I almost passed the f*** out. I recall going on Facebook and seeing someone's status which read "Went to Bikram yoga today. Didn't throw up or pass out. Yay!" I don't know about you, but passing out and vomiting are not my expectations when exercising.

Those who have done it claim that it feels really good after you finish. But isn't that really enjoyment through negative reinforcement? I could torture you and you'd feel better after it was over too. For that matter, why don't you just run 5 miles then? I'm sure you'd feel better after that too.

And more seriously:
*Heat exhaustion symptoms include dizziness, muscle weakness, and nausea or vomiting.
*Heat stroke is a life-threatening condition with symptoms of high body temperature, rapid pulse, difficulty breathing, confusion.

Your body uses sweating to regulate your body temperature. Why would you subject yourself to extreme heat while doing something that also makes you hot? This makes no sense to me whatsoever.

For those who do Bikram, I challenge you to tell me how it helps you.

3) Vampires

This is the most ridiculous trend of all time. All this Twilight and True Blood stuff... they're not vampires!

Vampire definition:
-They suck your blood
-They turn into bats
-They can't stand sunlight

Vampires don't sparkle!!! And when they get the chance, they will eat your ass! I don't give a rats ass if you say that doesn't hold true. This is what we're raised on. You can't change the rules so that you can sell books and make movies and TV shows. It's like trying to say Santa has dredlocks and employs oompa loompas to make toys in a hut in Jamaica. And then selling a bunch of Jamaican flags and dredlock wigs during Christmas in order to capitalize on it.

Do people not see the real push behind this whole thing? As I was telling some of my friends, all you have to do to make anything marketable is to make it sexy. If it wasn't Robert Pattinson in Twilight but some nerdy kid (maybe Michael Cera?), I doubt the whole series would have the same appeal.

One day, I'm going to write a book about zombies or mummies. Except they will be super sexy. They will be the sexiest thing you will have ever read or seen in your life. It will be a trilogy both in book and movie form. I will cast Robert Pattinson, Megan Fox and whoever else people find sexy at the time. The zombies will still eat brains, but they'll refrain because they're good at heart (or what's left of it). And they're sexy. And they smell like potpourri and have rainbows shooting out of their ass.

Ugh, this whole thing makes me want to vomit.

2) New Age Combination Words

I hate hate hate hate this. I took a "History of the English Language" course during undergrad (don't ask why). There is etymology behind the words we currently use now, from their roots from Germanic or Romance languages. Words evolved over time, and that was a beautiful thing. Now you have half-wits smashing words together brute-force style because they're not educated enough to use some of the millions of words out there (or are too lazy to pick up a thesaurus).

If you don't know what I'm talking about, here's a sampling:

Ginormous - What is this, giant + enormous? Gigantic + enormous? One friend of mine was talking about the hierarchy of size (i.e. big < giant < huge < enormous) so giant + enormous is even bigger!!! WTF? What happened to colossal, gargantuan, titanic, monstrous, etc.? Why don't we mash all of the words together to make a super-awesome word that means the biggest thing EVER!!!

Guesstimate - This is the worst word ever. There is no such thing as a guesstimate. It's either a guess or an estimate. Is it a shitty estimate? Then it's a guess. Did you put some time into guessing? Than it's an estimate. IT'S. NOT. BOTH. It's like saying you dug half a hole. Either you did or you didn't. (Karen told me that the CFO she works for uses "guesstimate," which automatically makes him the worst CFO ever.)

Chillax - (This is the sound of me throwing up.)

I know some of you out there use these words so I'm not saying you need to stop, nor am I condemning you for the use. It's a trendy thing and I can see that it might be fun to say. But I just personally detest the creation of these words. While I can understand a colloquial use of these words as exaggeration, they should never, ever, in a million years be used in any business context (meetings, presentations, etc.). EVER. If I interview someone for a job and they say "ginormous" to me, they are done. Good luck finding a job.

1) "Meh"

This is by far and away the worst word ever. (Even worse than guesstimate above.) I've talked to some who have disputed the use and meaning of the word, but here's what it means to me. Meh is similar to "whatever." If someone says "the weather isn't too bad today" and you say "meh," you're basically saying that you don't care. Either you don't care for the weather or you don't care for the person, overall you just don't care. But think about how rude that is. Someone says something to you and you say "whatever?" But it's worse than "whatever" because you've cut it down by 2 syllables!!! Now you really don't give a shit.

Several years ago, I met someone and had a conversation with him. It was your generic get to know you conversation and I was trying to make small talk. In response to something I said to him, he said "Meh." I almost lost it. I was this close to choking him. Really, I take time out of my life to talk to you and this is how you dismiss it? It's fine to disagree, but even "whatever" or "I don't care" shows more courtesy than "Meh." I think the usage like "I'm feeling meh" is fine. Just don't direct it towards me.

Now if you're reading this blog, I know you're a friend so I don't mean to offend (hey that rhymes). But we all have quirky things about us and these are mine. I'm sure I do things that make you want to beat me with your shoe. So tell me about it in the comments below! (Don't forget to sign your name.)

Wow. I mean seriously, wow. The past week or so has really messed me up. I'm better than this. I'm not going to let it happen again.

So it's been a while since my last update, and I don't have time to write about everything that's happened, so someone hold me accountable at some point for this:
-Gabe's Bachelor Party
-Europe Trip
-Seattle Trip

I've started work now (and for the rest of my life). It's week 2, and it's much harder than it was during the summer when I was an intern. I guess during then, it's a 10 week sprint and then you get to be a student again. Now, it's sort of a marathon (at break-neck speed at times) except you're not sure where the end is. Today has slowed down a bit, fortunately. I could use more of these days.

One side-effect of this job is the lack of planning. It's always hard to make plans when someone asks you at 4 or 5pm for something that'll take you 4-8 hours to do. I mean, it's not like I didn't know this was going to happen, but I suppose I was in a much different situation last summer than I did now, and have a little different perspective on things.

Relationship-wise, I think this is almost as difficult as long distance. Because of the lack of foresight, you can't make dates or plan to hang out with the significant other. The other night I was supposed to hang out with Karen but got hung up at work. She ended up falling asleep at my place as I came back at 11pm. It kills me that my options are either 1) don't plan to see her at all or 2) make her wait for me. #2 is tremendously unfair to her, so there really is only one option, which basically relegates us to being a weekend couple. During our long distance phase, at least we got to see each other for a whole weekend. Now, even our weekends are abbreviated.

I know, I should stop bitching and it's my own damn fault for taking this job. Aside from the hours though, it's not a bad job and the economy is brutal. But this whole situation frustrates me to no end. And there doesn't seem to be any solution, at least not for the time being.

I hate being helpless.

I don't remember parts of my drive home last night. It's been a long time...